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I have never enjoyed moving nor do I enjoy staying in the same place for too long. It’s quite the conundrum for me as my family and I are in the middle of a move and for the first time going through the process of selling a house. I would not recommend this process for those weak of heart. It’s eating away at my soul. I feel like our lives are put in a little glass box for anyone with a notion and 15 minutes free to come and pick apart everything that we are. Now I know I shouldn’t feel this way. I understand that its business but it’s not merely business for me. It’s my life and it’s very personal to me. And because of that it hurts.

For 5yrs I have put my heart, blood, and sweat making a house into a home.  And now we must leave it. I am forced to watch as inspectors come and say this is wrong or that is wrong and all the while the anxiety builds and builds. For some time now I haven’t been able to have a break or a time to balance out. It’s never ending. Sure there’s a closing date but only if something doesn’t go wrong. I’m not even counting the actual packing or moving of stuff into a storage container that doesn’t exist as a part of my meltdown. For example: The summer time started and we were hot. So I packed the cold clothes into boxes and sent them to the garage with all the other stuff. A week later it’s raining and it’s 65degrees in my house. I know the sun is coming out already but it’s those things that start to add up and little by little the accruing weight starts to get heavier and heavier. I didn’t know it would be like this. I might have assumed it would be a bit of a shock but it feels more like being struck by lightning, repeatedly.

I love my family very much and for them I would do anything. I would endure anything. I started reading a book, one that I would hope help my deal with this journey, “Lord of the Rings”. Sure my journey is not quite at the level of Frodo’s and his Fellowship but the lessons are parallel. Although things may seem Dark and without hope, if you stay true to yourself and your family your task and journey can and will be completed.

One does not merely walk into Mordor and sell a house.

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